I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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