I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
