My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
