This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
