It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
