Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
