babies were throwing up all over the place
high people should be assigned attendants
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
