Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
