I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
