I accidentally burped into my bong.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
