We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
