Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
