Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
