I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
