Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
