I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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