i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
