Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
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note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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