she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
