I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
