everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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