you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
