He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
