I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
