you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
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So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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