Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
