i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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