so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
