btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize