Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
should my penis look like a turkey
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
