its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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