We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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