Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
