Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
