I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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