Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
