Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
