are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
