we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
