Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He felt like a one man threesome
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
