Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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