i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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