Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
