Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think people are normalizing furries
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
