shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
