Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Acid is not a monday night drug
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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