yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
