Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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