I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
