Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
