i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
