Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
