matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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