Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
