His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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