Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
50% drunk capacity currently
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
