i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
