it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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