Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
