i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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